What Men Want

Sunday's paper was stuffed with crap gift-giving ideas for Father's Day. It's the same for Mother's Day. Junk people really don't want, and they really don't want other people buying for them. How many men crave another polo shirt or bass printed boxers. You've got to wonder about a guy who wants a Homer Simpson dashboard bobble head. I got a meatballer and a book on pioneer women one year. Believe me it sucks.

Kmart's flyer showed the top of a guys head with cartoon bubbles above containing the most sought after items a Dad could wish for. They were close; an LCD TV, Stainless-steel gas grill, and a Craftsman 18v cordless drill. But as usual, shorts and golf gear were thrown in- at least they didn't suggest a Kmart tie. Linens-n-Things added a 12-pc. BBQ set in a stainless-steel case or a cordless grill brush (a wire brush on a wheel). Yeah, like that's going to work. Your choice for either obvious piece of junk for only $19.99. But who wants a TV from Kmart, or why would you shop at Linens-n-Things for Father's Day?

The real cartoon dream bubbles would be filled with things like Pamela Anderson, riding nasty motorcycles, getting the big promotion handshake, winning at poker, or crossing the Triathlon finish line. They know they'll end up paying for the TV, tools, or Eddie Bauer bocce ball set anyway. It's the stuff they can't buy that they want.

I asked a Dad I know what was the most memorable Father's Day gift he ever got. He couldn't remember any. I asked if any Father's Day celebrations were memorable...nope. So I thought, do I remember anything special I ever bought for my Dad? Nope.

My Dad has been gone 17 years. I really wish I had him back for just one day. I helped clean up his garage and go through his things with my Mom after he died. He had a lot of crap. Two things he kept that hit me were the pictures of my sister and me he carried in his wallet, and my 6 year-old hand print in finger-paint with paper plate frame. The junk is all gone now. It's the things about him I remember, the things we did together like ride horses, go on his rickety boat, and share banana splits.

Last weekend we played sloshball (yeah, running the bases with beer in hand) with an assortment of people at least 20 years younger. They couldn't believe we liked hanging out with them. That Dad I know, manned the keg at 2nd base, climbed the backstop, and made friends with everyone. He was amazing. The fact that he was invited, enjoyed, and had so much fun won't be forgotten. So, forget the boxers, gadgets, and beer mugs. Go make a memory instead.