Going for Stage 5!

"You're snoring."
Darn! I was 30 minutes in. That was 2 hours ago. Now I'm listening to him snore. I'm an intermittent insomniac. Sometimes it lasts for months on end. Lately it's been hit or miss, once or twice a week. If I can make it past the 30 minute mark with no disruptions I can usually go back to sleep. Bother me before then and I'm up watching my weird next door neighbor through the blinds in my office at 3 A.M. He's material for another blog.

I love to dream, but according to the website "How Stuff Works," if you don't sleep well you don't enter REM sleep and you miss out on all the fun. REM is when you're body twitches and your eyes roll around under your lids like a pair of possessed eggs. I know my body does a lot of uncontrolled things when I finally go under. I admit I snore, drool, and am known for some serious farting, animal-like grunts, and whistling. You'd think I'd be having spectacular dreams with all the entertainment I'm providing. Nope, the guy that wakes me up gets all the fun. He flies in his dreams, and most of the time he's naked. Yeah, we checked out a website that explains what that means and yes, he's got issues.

Houses are a re-occurring dream theme for me. Probably because I've moved over 11 times, 6 moves to different states. I search through the houses and find things left behind, or people hidden behind a secret door. Coo-coo! My daughter frequently dreams about her wedding; that I've abandoned her to handle all the plans by herself. Isn't that what most brides wish for?

Ok, I spent a couple hours thinking about this post. It should have been much better considering all the thought I put into it. Tossing and turning, kicking the comforter into a berm separating me from my snore alarm. Once the decision was made to actually get up- all those fabulous prose and witty one liners disappeared. I creep silently to the kitchen, grab a glass of water and flip on the computer in the office. Check the back porch light and see Joe's TV next door flickering as usual- sometimes till 4 A.M. Now that I've put my ramblings into this little box, my legs are frozen, retinas burnt, and I'll be making my way back to bed like a blind man. Wish me luck, I'm hoping I'll have a spectacular stage 3 through 5! If I'm back spying on the weird neighbor Joe in a couple of hours I'll just skip the glass of water and do a shot of Tequila.
Nighty night.

1 comment:

Melissavina said...

Oh mom, that's awful. I know the feeling though. Many of my readers have grown accustomed to my sleep stories.

Your neighbor sounds as interesting as when we lived in Torrance and the Vietnamese family next door would watch porn and sing karaoke until the wee hours of the morning... good entertainment for the insomniac.