The Last Week of June

Can you believe it- 2007 is half over? Summer's here, the weather's fine, and whatever junk you might be dealing with- just remember I'm here to help distract you from the everyday grind. This week's calendar of CELEBRATE EVERYTHING has some thought provoking items sure to fill your trivia data bank with useless yet entertaining information. I have great plans for blogging you silly on Tuesday and Wednesday, so check back in. (Leave a comment please...is anyone reading this?) Paris get's out of Jail Tuesday- Wow! Party down Paris!

So what difference does any of this make? #1, It gives me fodder to write about. #2, It gives us all something to look forward to. #3, It gives you something to say in those awkward silent moments like; "Say, did you know today is Camera Day?" Conversation starters and good pick-up lines like; "Hey, today is National Swim a Lap Day, wanna go skinny dippin'?"

Here's an interesting tid-bit you can use; Log Cabin Day was the brain child of Virginia Handy, head of the Bad Axe Historical Society. I'd love to meet Virginia and her Bad Axes- doing their darndest to preserve America's heritage.

Actually I'm hoping that you'll make everyday a party, something my family & friends excel at. In the last year (not to mention the knock-out regular holiday celebrations) we've had housewarmings, a pumpkin carving/Halloween costume party, gourmet thank-you dinners, a Miami Vice theme party, Country Music Awards celebration, a bridal shower, a Pirate Birthday party, 50-year-old kids theme party, a toasting rehearsal dinner, a fabulous beach wedding & reception, a Sloshball double birthday, Cinco-de-May & Father's Day bar hopping bike rides, and a Monday Night Cajun party. All of these events were attended by adults who know how to have fun! Most of these were thanks to my brilliant son & his wife, and my ever clever, creative daughter.

So- pick at least one of these dates and get the party started!

Bummer Beginning of Summer

Blap, blap, blap. blap, blap, blap- 5:30 AM sounded like the airlift of Saigon on top of my house. I'm not sure if the birds were already chirping on the FIRST DAY OF SUMMER (the longest day of the year) but they couldn't be heard if they were.

I went to bed early in anticipation of greeting the sunrise, chirping birds, good coffee "the world's best husband" always has waiting for me pipping hot. Instead it was the whacking rotor blades of a helicopter hovering directly overhead. Even the grass was flapping. Fortunately the dogs were mindlessly asleep in the garage or they would have been barking.

Bing jolted out of those last horded moment's of sleep with roaring thunderous noise is confusing. The mind speeds, data-bursting questions like- the world's coming to an end? No, a plane crash (we live close to an airport). I'm still asleep dreaming of Apocalypse Now, weirdo Marlon Brando is going to burst through the French doors. I come to- see my coffee right where it should be, there's no fuselage in the back yard, I'm awake but the blap, blap, blapping continues getting louder by the second.

I try looking up through the closed windows- no good. Check out the back door, then the front. There it is- hovering fixed in one spot like a giant mosquito trained on it's victim. Ok, it's just a traffic news-chopper, carrying some wanna-be reporter ready to scoop the next big slam-up on the 405. We're only 3 blocks from one of LA's busiest freeways. I should have guessed. I flipped on the TV hoping to see the dork that ruined the start of my celebration. There it was- a 3 car pile-up just clearing. Right then a fire engine with sirens blaring zips down the ramp and past our street. The scratchy voice of the pilot plots out the spot for drivers to avoid but no sexy little smiley face beaming from a headset- too early for reporters I guess. Not to early to wake up the whole freaking world below though!

The start of summer grabbed me by the throat, punched some of my loved-ones in the gut (see My Daughter's blog) and left a few cars wrinkled. But as they say- "The sun shines on the good and the bad." Guess I'll go buy some éclairs.

Good Morning Sunshine

Tomorrow- or today, depending on when you read this- is the longest day of the year, The Official Beginning of Summer. Yippee, it's finally here! We can all use those typical catch phrases in the office like: "Wow, won't this day ever end?" or "Man, this day just seems to go on and on!"

The mere word "Summer" strikes a chord of excitement. Remember when you couldn't wait for school to end for summer break? It meant hanging out in the neighborhood until dark, which meant in some places until way after 9 PM. Having crazy times with your friends sleeping in the back yard like quasi campers in sleeping bags, sneaking out in the middle of the night to raise all kinds of hell.

So, don a really cool pair of shades, your sharpest shorts or mini-skirt, and kick up your flip-flops. The party starts at the crack of dawn with a Tequila Sunrise and ends with Sex on the Beach if you're lucky.

I'm going to bed early (warding off my insomnia) as the kid next door rolls by on his skateboard at 8:49 PM- all in preparation of completely enjoying the longest day of the year!

Solstice Salutations & Cheers! Me-Shelle

Going for Stage 5!

What?

"You're snoring."
Darn! I was 30 minutes in. That was 2 hours ago. Now I'm listening to him snore. I'm an intermittent insomniac. Sometimes it lasts for months on end. Lately it's been hit or miss, once or twice a week. If I can make it past the 30 minute mark with no disruptions I can usually go back to sleep. Bother me before then and I'm up watching my weird next door neighbor through the blinds in my office at 3 A.M. He's material for another blog.

I love to dream, but according to the website "How Stuff Works," if you don't sleep well you don't enter REM sleep and you miss out on all the fun. REM is when you're body twitches and your eyes roll around under your lids like a pair of possessed eggs. I know my body does a lot of uncontrolled things when I finally go under. I admit I snore, drool, and am known for some serious farting, animal-like grunts, and whistling. You'd think I'd be having spectacular dreams with all the entertainment I'm providing. Nope, the guy that wakes me up gets all the fun. He flies in his dreams, and most of the time he's naked. Yeah, we checked out a website that explains what that means and yes, he's got issues.

Houses are a re-occurring dream theme for me. Probably because I've moved over 11 times, 6 moves to different states. I search through the houses and find things left behind, or people hidden behind a secret door. Coo-coo! My daughter frequently dreams about her wedding; that I've abandoned her to handle all the plans by herself. Isn't that what most brides wish for?

Ok, I spent a couple hours thinking about this post. It should have been much better considering all the thought I put into it. Tossing and turning, kicking the comforter into a berm separating me from my snore alarm. Once the decision was made to actually get up- all those fabulous prose and witty one liners disappeared. I creep silently to the kitchen, grab a glass of water and flip on the computer in the office. Check the back porch light and see Joe's TV next door flickering as usual- sometimes till 4 A.M. Now that I've put my ramblings into this little box, my legs are frozen, retinas burnt, and I'll be making my way back to bed like a blind man. Wish me luck, I'm hoping I'll have a spectacular stage 3 through 5! If I'm back spying on the weird neighbor Joe in a couple of hours I'll just skip the glass of water and do a shot of Tequila.
Nighty night.